V665, your questions are worded in a way more applicable to ones who have completed their fade and are out, not active faders, but here goes.
how determined are you to never return to life as a JW?
well i'm not "out" yet, so that would have to happen before thinking of returning. but i have played out the scenarios in my head, and returning MIGHT be a possibility, depending on how horribly it goes out there in "the world" and how much i miss the people, but it would never be a faith-based return and all the attitudes that go together with that.
Do you still miss old JW "friends"?
Do you miss the company of JW relatives?
again, i'm not out so i still have association with friends and relatives. but yes, this is without a doubt the biggest (if not ONLY) thing still keeping me in, albeit now hanging by a few threads.
Do even the smallest of thoughts that maybe, just maybe, the JWs are right about some things, still haunt the darkest corners of you mind?
only verrrry occasionally. i had one just a few days ago, but now i can't think of it right now. i was actually going to post it as a question here but didn't want to sound like a JW apologist hehe.
Do you still have the occasional nightmare about dying during the big A?
never.